We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
