I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
