i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
