Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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