Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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