we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
