Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
