Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
