my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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