haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
