the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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