All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
