I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize