help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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