Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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