dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
