Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
