Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
