Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize