I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
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