in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
