K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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