Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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