and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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