Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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