I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
