So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
