i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
