Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
