what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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