I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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