my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
