Texts From Last Night

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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen

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  (309): I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen http://tfl.nu/zk0c
  Replies (55) Good night (1156) Bad night (4312)
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  (845): View more from New York

  mondays should just be called national damage control day

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  (845): mondays should just be called national damage control day http://tfl.nu/14ab
  Replies (15) Good night (4775) Bad night (763)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.

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  (570): 11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college. http://tfl.nu/tbx5
  Replies (9) Good night (3184) Bad night (1096)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.

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  (864): Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot. http://tfl.nu/kmo6
  Replies (8) Good night (4147) Bad night (807)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor

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  (765): The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor http://tfl.nu/xtoh
  Replies (7) Good night (2650) Bad night (862)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.

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  (352): One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday. http://tfl.nu/0mor
  Replies (8) Good night (2665) Bad night (822)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.

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  (519): I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future. http://tfl.nu/3f9u
  Replies (4) Good night (1354) Bad night (576)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.

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  (330): Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette. http://tfl.nu/sax7
  Replies (7) Good night (748) Bad night (2510)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?

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  (519): Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right? http://tfl.nu/pz20
  Replies (11) Good night (781) Bad night (1570)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.

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  (540): Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot. http://tfl.nu/omko
  Replies (8) Good night (1819) Bad night (458)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic

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  (269): Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic http://tfl.nu/ri8o
  Replies (10) Good night (703) Bad night (315)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman

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  (520): Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman http://tfl.nu/fkwg
  Replies (3) Good night (621) Bad night (460)
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  (914): View more from New York

  When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.

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  (914): When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked. http://tfl.nu/4q7m
  Replies (5) Good night (2202) Bad night (434)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.

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  (570): HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES. http://tfl.nu/3qt3
  Replies (7) Good night (619) Bad night (271)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.

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  (928): He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart. http://tfl.nu/tciz
  Replies (4) Good night (1267) Bad night (319)

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