Texts From Last Night

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  (813): View more from Florida

  so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol

  (1-813): View more from Florida

  well its been awhile since I've surfed

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  (813): so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol (1-813): well its been awhile since I've surfed http://tfl.nu/lkwy
  Replies (4) Good night (1986) Bad night (486)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care

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  (307): Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care http://tfl.nu/5v6y
  Replies (89) Good night (2063) Bad night (3590)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.

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  (248): My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while. http://tfl.nu/9oye
  Replies (8) Good night (3928) Bad night (690)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?

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  (817): youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy? http://tfl.nu/kdio
  Replies (23) Good night (5708) Bad night (711)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"

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  (847): i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong" http://tfl.nu/catg
  Replies (31) Good night (5955) Bad night (923)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.

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  (678): Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action. http://tfl.nu/m88z
  Replies (26) Good night (5591) Bad night (1742)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.

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  (413): He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing. http://tfl.nu/up8v
  Replies (8) Good night (1296) Bad night (4296)
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  (562): View more from California

  I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.

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  (562): I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex. http://tfl.nu/ik0l
  Replies (15) Good night (5670) Bad night (1106)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls

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  (508): I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls http://tfl.nu/izkj
  Replies (4) Good night (1996) Bad night (1378)
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  (714): View more from California

  found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.

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  (714): found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good. http://tfl.nu/7tze
  Replies (3) Good night (985) Bad night (2244)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win

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  (630): my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win http://tfl.nu/ctc5
  Replies (2) Good night (1220) Bad night (743)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.

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  (425): One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake. http://tfl.nu/mhbs
  Replies (14) Good night (1229) Bad night (1823)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?

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  (802): He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been? http://tfl.nu/bs5q
  Replies (4) Good night (1366) Bad night (519)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs

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  (902): I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs http://tfl.nu/ena6
  Replies (0) Good night (671) Bad night (295)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.

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  (720): Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid. http://tfl.nu/ckk0
  Replies (2) Good night (839) Bad night (221)

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