we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Randomize
