so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
and technically it was a rebound
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
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swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
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Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.