dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.