Texts From Last Night

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  (518): View more from New York

  i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.

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  (518): i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on. http://tfl.nu/22pm
  Replies (5) Good night (4006) Bad night (691)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.

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  (813): Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago. http://tfl.nu/p2wp
  Replies (20) Good night (3795) Bad night (761)
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  (212): View more from New York

  so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before

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  (212): so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before http://tfl.nu/29hu
  Replies (16) Good night (2141) Bad night (4537)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone

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  (513): i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone http://tfl.nu/hza4
  Replies (15) Good night (5489) Bad night (1212)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious

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  (918): It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious http://tfl.nu/z2uj
  Replies (7) Good night (1161) Bad night (2495)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?

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  (503): bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing? http://tfl.nu/vn0z
  Replies (1) Good night (1831) Bad night (849)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.

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  (563): I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating. http://tfl.nu/5u43
  Replies (2) Good night (1244) Bad night (1425)
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  (516): View more from New York

  He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this

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  (516): He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this http://tfl.nu/b4ty
  Replies (8) Good night (3161) Bad night (1198)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian

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  (775): A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian http://tfl.nu/crio
  Replies (2) Good night (1925) Bad night (519)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract

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  (515): Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract http://tfl.nu/mnf5
  Replies (3) Good night (399) Bad night (1014)
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  (818): View more from California

  The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.

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  (818): The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it. http://tfl.nu/rmr6
  Replies (6) Good night (617) Bad night (1588)
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  (408): View more from California

  No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard

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  (408): No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard http://tfl.nu/3xoe
  Replies (3) Good night (671) Bad night (380)
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  (415): View more from California

  I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?

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  (415): I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms? http://tfl.nu/krzn
  Replies (1) Good night (900) Bad night (316)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.

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  (917): Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out. http://tfl.nu/jrjf
  Replies (1) Good night (623) Bad night (227)
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  (909): View more from California

  An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?

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  (909): An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me? http://tfl.nu/uy1l
  Replies (3) Good night (461) Bad night (203)

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