you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.