HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
