i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
