I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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