i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize