I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
