My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
