i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
