i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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