Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
