when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
