Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
