This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
