there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
