Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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