Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
