im holly from the hills drunk
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
True college students do jello shots in the library
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