He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
