i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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