I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
