So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize