Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I'm passing your future prison.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
