My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
