Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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