What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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