She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
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