you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
