Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
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I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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