dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Randomize
