"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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