he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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