Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
